The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
