just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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