I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
