I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
