would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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