"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
