I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize