How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
