If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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