I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think I sprained my soul last night
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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