dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
