the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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