i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
