I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
