I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
