I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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