She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize