and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
