I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
