mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
