fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
