Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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