my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I cut my penus on the lid.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Two words: nipple clamps
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