So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
