So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
