Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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