I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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