the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
