U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
