Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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