I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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