Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
