he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
