Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
