dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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