i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
