Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
