Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
high people should be assigned attendants
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
