Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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