He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
