your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
