i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
