if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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