It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize