I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
