I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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