She is in my trunk
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
