Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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