Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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