Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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