I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
