You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize