I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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