So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
