Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
