That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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