New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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