i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize