Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
