I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
