Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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