Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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