This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
