Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
