Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
