Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
